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Toby Lorenc

Toby the “No-matter-how-many-times-I-type-his-last-name-auto-correct-wants-to-add-an-‘e’” Lorenc suffers from a lifelong malady of being slightly distracted at all times. This could explain his preference to only shave the left side of his body, leaving the right side entangled in a thick mass of Hobbit-like hair. Being born with naturally occurring social camouflage-skills, if one takes a picture of the Stick Horse troupe, Toby can only be identified as what witnesses more often describe as “the one who looks funny”. When asked to elaborate, these witnesses could not distinguish between “Funny ha-ha” and “Well… just funny” before becoming preoccupied with just how funny the word “funny” is. I mean, really. Try saying it about ten times, and you’ll get what I’m saying. Anyway, back to Toby. Toby’s most apparent mannerisms include getting strangely excited about cleaning. Being raised around a pack of shivering Chihuahuas and howler monkeys, Toby becomes startled easily and screams like a girl – especially if you hide in his closet and terrify him in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, an overabundance of flossing has left Toby with poor circulation in his fingers. Despite this deformity, Toby has a contagious smile and an inability to hide any of his emotions.


SHiP member since:




Colorado Springs, CO



September 8


Guilty pleasure music:

Evan and Jaron


Fashion that should never die:

Tight rolling your jeans


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